When I go to Export my project to Media Encoder it either starts rendering but doesnt get past the connecting or just loads the connecting file forver. very frustrating because it says time remaining 0:00:00 for hours and I just end up CLosing the project. I have tried cc adobe cleaner and uninstalling.
Without any system information we can't really tell you much. Does the project render directly from AE? Can you open the project in AME? Outside that the usual steps apply: Check hardware acceleration settings and potential blockages of the underlying virtual memory host and the temp files it uses. Anything more will require proper technical details.
As the others have suggested the clue might be in your project and system set up. While we're trying to debug the main issue, you could consider rendering out an image sequence from After Effects Render Queue - if your project is complex and your computer doesn't quite have enough resources, then this is a way to get your composition rendered. You can then stitch this together in AME afterwards.
Make sure to clear your media cache before rendering too and see if your GPU is a blocker by switching your project to Software Only (File > Project Settings)