Check your grammar. Generic music loops that don't help tell your story tend to distract from the story you are trying to tell. The pacing is stiff. You should read The Illusion of Life by Ollie Johnson and Frank Thomas. Anyone interested in any kind of motion graphics should be very familiar with these basic principles. At the very least watch this video and use some of the principles in your animation.
You should also spend some more time studying composition and learning about how movement, color, and shape directs the eye.
It looks like you are just starting out. Spend a fair amount of time looking for good, professional examples of the kind of work you want to produce.