Firsly, we're not nerds. Well, not according to the Merriam-Webster definition, anyway, although I can see that it might apply to some podcasters...
Virtually all of this has to be done in multitrack view, because you need to use the automation system. So the first thing you need to do is follow the tutorials about using it. And that's the key to most of this - it's not about 'how to', as much as understanding what it is about the acoustic environment you want to create that makes it the way it is. Inside buildings, it's pretty much about early reflections. Outside, it's about realising that you'll get far fewer reflections anyway - so generally less colouration and bass. But the bass part also applies to any distant direct source - you have to judge this according to what you are working on, though.
And then it's about combining these things. So if your 'far away' voice is at the other end of a large room, then use one of the reverbs, and the automation system to control the mix level as they approach. And as I suggested, you might also want to use a filter and also control the amount of bass at the same time - generally the closer you get, the more of this you hear.
The phone is easy. Open up the Effects rack and select the 'On The Telephone' preset. You're done. But if you actually want to learn about it, then open each individual effect and see how it's set.
Ultimately though, the most important thing to realise about processing the voice like this is that it needs to be as dry and neutral as it can be to start with - otherwise you will be fighting all the way, because early reflections recorded with the speech are pretty much impossible to remove, and will always colour your results. It's all down to experimenting, really - we can't give you more specifics, because each setting is different. It's easier with sound effects; if you want to chop off somebody's head then get a very large, sharp kitchen knife and a cabbage... 😉
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