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I am trying to install an update for adobe flash player and when I get to stage 3 it wants me to try for a month free an add that I do not want -how can I get past this and just install the update
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Are you sure you're using Adobe's installer page? What is the URL that you go to for the installer?
This would be the right page:
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It sounds like you probably completed the installation successfully. The success screen does tend to include a promotion for a paid Adobe product (selling stuff is what keeps the lights on around here).
Most of the major browsers in the US are making it increasingly difficult to use Flash. Similarly, most content on the web has been able to assume for the last ~15 years that if Flash wasn't visible, that it wasn't installed. That's no longer necessarily true, and older content may be incorrectly telling you to install Flash, when in actuality, it's already installed but blocked by the browser itself.
Depending on the browser you use, you may need to do some additional stuff to enable Flash Player:
Enable Flash Player for Firefox
Adobe Flash Player enabled but not recognized in Windows 10 Edge
Enable Adobe Flash Player for Safari
Use or fix Flash audio & video - Computer - Google Chrome Help
If those don't help, some information about your computer and browser would help us give you a more specific recommendation: