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Nice photo. I think the problem lies with three issues.
1. there is too much shadow. Half of the printed photo is black.
2. There is a red halo between shadows and sky.
3. The sky is a bit grainy.
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Hello,
I also think the photo is just too dark. You said low key, but to my eyes it's just underexposed. You need to use light to focus your attention on the main subject. What is the main subject here? It's hard to work out what the subject is in the foreground. To me, it's off-putting. I don't know what it is.
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Thank you very much for your tips and opinions.
I'll try to get rid of the halo and work on the "darkness".
Thanks!!