Something we all can relate to part 2

[Peru Bob]

The new forum needs a little bit of humor to release the tension of the changeover, so I've started part 2 of the old thread so that we don't have to keep scrollong to the end of the old thread.

If it gets too long before the "go to the latest reply" issue is resolved, I can lock this thread and link to a part 3 thread.

What do you think?

[gener7]

Genie: "I shall grant you three wishes."

Me: "I wish for a world without lawyers."

Genie: "Granted! You have no more wishes."

Me: "But you said I had three!"

Genie: "Sue me."

[gener7]

Tommy: "Hey Dave, I hear you were arrested for annoying your neighbors by playing endless Englebert Humperdinck songs, what happened?"

Dave:     "Police released me, let me go..."

[John T Smith]

What is the result if you have a curious Agnostic who has Dyslexia and Insomnia?

(page down for the answer)

Someone who lays awake at night while wondering if there is a Dog

[John T Smith]

Latest cocktail is a Quarantini - a Martini that you drink alone while you are in quarantine

[jane-e]

The season of Lent:

Sean goes into the pub and asks for three Guinness. He sits there and sips from the first one, then the second, and the third. He does this until finally all three pints are finished. He pays the bill and leaves.

A couple of nights later he comes back and repeats the ritual. This goes on for a while and finally the bartender's curiosity gets the better of him and he asks why the three Guinness and why drink them all together the way he does. "Well, " says Sean, "My brother Michael is in the USA and my other brother Liam is in Australia. We can't meet in the pub and share a Guinness, so we have an agreement that whenever we go have a drink, we order three pints and pretend we're together." The bartender thinks to himself, "What a wonderful idea."

A few months go by and one night Sean comes in and he orders two Guinness. The bartender is afraid to ask, but Sean seems fine, so finally the bartender says, "I see you've only ordered two Guinness tonight. Did something happen to one of your brothers? "No, no," says Sean, "They're both fit as a fiddle and healthy as horses!" "So why only the two Guinness?" asks the bartender. "Ah, well now," says Sean, "I've given up Guinness for Lent."

[gener7]

[gener7]

[Trevor.Dennis]

Maybe not something to look for the lighter side of, but there's no reason not to die with a smile on your face. 

And the answer was right there all the time.

BTW  It was not too hard posting these pictures.  I might have to start posting again.

[jane-e]

"BTW  It was not too hard posting these pictures.  I might have to start posting again."

Oh, yay, Trevor!

[Leslie Moak Murray]

I swear to God if Trump cured cancer, they'd say he caused unemployment among oncologists. If he walked on water, the headline would be TRUMP CAN'T SWIM.

[gener7]

[LinSims]

You found Arthur C. Clarke's pub‽‽‽

[gener7]

Abbey Road: Social distancing release.

[gener7]

[Leslie Moak Murray]

Hahaha! Once in the 80s, he sent me one of my own get well cards because I made the nurse look like Annie Wilkes, and he signed it "Beast Wishes From Your Number One Fiend"

[gener7]

As the saying goes; "How cool is that?" Nice when your art gets a thumbs up from a famous writer.

Only Steven King story I have was this local eccentric who thought he shot John Lennon and tried to get on every radio station to tout his conspiracy theory (he was good at cheating the screeners). I would steer clear of him and his light-green van. He did not take well to ridicule.

[jane-e]

How fun! Do you still have the card, Leslie?

~ Jane

[Leslie Moak Murray]

Oh yes! Not that I've seen it since I moved, but it's safe in a box somewhere, along with the autographed copies of his books he sent with it! I love that  guy! I told him I'm his number one fan just to scare him (because that's what Annie Wilkes said to the guy she tied to the bed and held prisoner haha).

[Peru Bob]

[Rob_Cullen]

Another- Murphy's Law:

Do not play leapfrog with a unicorn.

[Trevor.Dennis]

Leslie, the Annie Wilkes reference is going to make a lot of people wince from the broken bones memory.

This made me laugh today

[Leslie Moak Murray]

OMG That was hilarious! I missed you, Trevor!

[jane-e]

PonyTail,

Trevor's video could be starring you with your name and long hair, hahaha!

~ Jane

[Trevor.Dennis]

There are all sorts of 'Work From Home' stories doing the rounds.   I'd like to think this one is real, but if it was staged it's still pretty funny

[Peru Bob]