I am looking forward to ...

LEGEND ,
Apr 21, 2009 Apr 21, 2009

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... the day when someone gets another red blob on that little progress bar.  

... thought I was going to say something else – right?  

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correct answers 1 Correct Answer

Enthusiast , Apr 21, 2009 Apr 21, 2009
I like monkeys.The pet store was selling them for five cents a piece. I thought that odd since they were normally a couple thousand each. I bought 200. I like monkeys.I took my 200 monkeys home. I have a big car. I let one drive. He wasn't very smart. In fact, none of them were really bright. They kept punching themselves in the genitals. I laughed. Then they punched me in the genitals. I stopped laughing.I herded them into my room. They didn't adapt very well to their new home. They would scree...

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Enthusiast ,
Apr 21, 2009 Apr 21, 2009

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um, right?

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Enthusiast ,
Apr 21, 2009 Apr 21, 2009

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i'm thinking it would be all better if you had sea monkeys.

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Enthusiast ,
Apr 21, 2009 Apr 21, 2009

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I like monkeys.

The pet store was selling them for five cents a piece. I thought that odd since they were normally a couple thousand each. I bought 200. I like monkeys.

I took my 200 monkeys home. I have a big car. I let one drive. He wasn't very smart. In fact, none of them were really bright. They kept punching themselves in the genitals. I laughed. Then they punched me in the genitals. I stopped laughing.

I herded them into my room. They didn't adapt very well to their new home. They would screech, hurl themselves off the couch at high speeds and slam into the wall. Although humorous at first, this lost its novelty afer an hour.

Two hours later I found out why all the monkeys were so inexpensive: they all died. No apparent reason. They all just sorta dropped dead. Kinda like when you buy a goldfish and it dies five hours later. Darn cheap monkeys.

I didn't know what to do. There were 200 dead monkeys lying all over my room, on the bed, in the dresser, hanging from my bookcase. It looked like I had 200 throw rugs.

I tried to flush one down the toilet.  It didn't work. It got stuck.  Then I had one dead, wet monkey and 199 dead, dry monkeys.

I tried pretending that they were just stuffed animals. That worked for a while, that is until they began to decompose. It started to smell real bad.

I had to pee but there was a dead monkey in the toilet and I didn't want to call the plumber.  I was embarrassed.

I tried to slow down the decomposition by freezing them. Unfortunately, there was only enough room in the freezer for two monkeys at a time so I had to change them every 30 seconds. I also had to eat all the food in the freezer so it didn't all go bad.

I tried burning them.  Little did I know my bed was flammable.  I had to extinguish the fire.

Then I had one dead, wet monkey in my toilet, two dead, frozen monkeys in my freezer, and 197 dead, charred monkeys in a pile on my bed. The odor wasn't improving.

I became agitated at my inability to dispose of my monkeys and to use the bathroom. I severely beat one of my monkeys. I felt better.

I tried throwing them away but the garbage man said that the city wasn't allowed to dispose of charred primates. I told him that I had a wet one. He couldn't take that one either. I didn't bother asking about the frozen ones.

I finally arrived at a solution. I gave them out as Christmas gifts. My friends didn't know quite what to say. They pretended that they like them but I could tell they were lying. Ingrates. So I punched them in the genitals.

I like monkeys.

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Enthusiast ,
Apr 21, 2009 Apr 21, 2009

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I HATE sad stories! 

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Guide ,
Apr 21, 2009 Apr 21, 2009

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John Joslin wrote:

... the day when someone gets another red blob on that little progress bar.


Every two days or so, I launch my (unhacked) copy of iCab, just to see if there have been any changes to the forum's mess.  (Yeah, right, as if…)  In doing so, I noticed this guy on the index page:  http://forums.adobe.com/people/kglad

He's got two red blobs.

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Guide ,
Apr 21, 2009 Apr 21, 2009

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Ramón G Castañeda wrote:


I noticed this guy on the index page:  http://forums.adobe.com/people/kglad

He's got two red blobs.

Incidentally, under his "picture" he's listed as "Participant", while I and most other folks are designated "User".  

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LEGEND ,
Apr 21, 2009 Apr 21, 2009

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Ramón G Castañeda wrote:

He's got two red blobs.

OK, I guess it must be for 500 points. He's been a busy bee hasn't he?

Pssst!!!!     Watch Zeno!

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LEGEND ,
Apr 22, 2009 Apr 22, 2009

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John Joslin wrote:

OK, I guess it must be for 500 points. He's been a busy bee hasn't he?

Pssst!!!!     Watch Zeno!

look! i've got 7 inches worth of points, who's more useless than i am? I think i've seen when i had exactly 500 points and it didn't give me the second blob so maybe it's for over 500 or maybe it just didn't update as this forum doesn't like to update itself sometimes

Weird though that people still complain about forum speed, i only had one bad day with the forums so far and i didn't have to log in in over a week already


Pssst!!!!    I'm watching you!

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Mentor ,
Apr 22, 2009 Apr 22, 2009

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I have a several points myself most for my activity in Acrobat forums I hope.

Hmm I've just had to sign in the second time since 7:00am EDT ist now 11:30am EDT.

Notice though I am still signed into Adobe.com.

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Guide ,
Apr 21, 2009 Apr 21, 2009

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He's got two red blobs.

Holy $h!t! He/she also has 715 points! That's impressive... not so much because of any implied knowledge and dedication as because this forum is now slow as molasses.

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Enthusiast ,
Apr 21, 2009 Apr 21, 2009

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Harron K. Appleman wrote:

That's impressive... not so much because of any implied knowledge and dedication as because this forum is now slow as molasses.

Any self respecting bottle of molasses would be offended by such a comparison.  The forum responsiveness today is GLACIAL!

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Guide ,
Apr 21, 2009 Apr 21, 2009

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You're right, Bob. A glacier is less likely to be offended.

#*~)

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