F U Apple!

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SERPENTINO, CA

CEO of Pear Shteeve Works, manufacturer of iFoon, iDiaper, and all other i things, issued a directive to change company name to iFourthReich.

In addition, internal Operating Manual will be made public under the title iMeinKemphy. After consulting with US Patent Agency, Pear/iFourthReich will adapt Nazi Germany insignia because original owners don't object, it is not used and did nothing but collected dust. Nevertheless, some survivors in Argentina will be paid compensation.

When asked if this indicates any shift in design of "i" line products, spooks person for Pear said that he/she did not have any comment but had a strong word.

It is expected that iMeinKemphy will replace US Constitution in the first quarter of 2011, start serving as European Constitution in 2012. If Mayas are wrong about the end of the world, it will be the only thing to read worldwide in 2013.

In his speech at MucousWorld Mr. Works ordered all Flash developers and Adobe employees to wear a rotten yellow orange image on their heart areas and foreheads. When asked "why not star, since it already had a history of working pretty well", spooks person replied that they reserved star for later use when Mr. Works genealogy tree is finished by Utah's "Grow my own tree" agency. Agency declined to comment because of Sunday cattle fair. Number of spikes in the star will be decided later this week.

Similar measures will be enforced for Microsoft's employees as soon as Tacoma airport is taken. Microsoft's representative giggled and pointed out with middle finger that they expect NASDAQ to succumb first but evacuation plans are already in place. Fresh West Coast oysters will be provided at no charge. Tabasco sauce and lemons are extra.

Several fashion design houses began capitalizing on this opportunity. Vogue is planning a special issue "Rotten orange haute couture."

Pear's staff and janitors will be moved to another state. Pear is unusually tight-lipped about future location. Mr. Works' assistant was spotted in line for a pint of beer in a local pub near Serpentino’s campus. She was asked if she knew anything. The woman said that she was not allowed to talk before taking two sips. After ten sips, the only information she could provide was that the location is a little town, which name starts with W, between Maryland and Virginia on the river starting with P. After Reuters correspondent allowed her to puff his ganja, she disclosed that the main reason for the move is that this mysterious W-town has a spacious multi-bedroom hacienda painted in white – Mr. Works' favorite color.

Meanwhile, North Korea's news agency KCNA reported that Kim Il-sung met Pear's announcement with deep crotch touching satisfaction. Since Mr. Kim's blood alcohol level at the time he watched Mr. Works' speech was only 1.75, this development is considered as a significant shift.

In a separate statement, Pyongyang announced that Pear and North Korea have natural affinity that led to a strategic alliance. Executive exchange program with Pear will start on June  20, 2010. Mr. Kim will serve as CEO of Pear while Mr. Works as Our Dear Leader in North Korea. iFourthReich's spooks person stated that this program is modeled after successful training of Mr. Hitler's employees accomplished in Gulag in 1932-1938 that organically evolved into the concept of final solution. According to the best practices in Object Oriented Programming, most notably modularity and encapsulation, North Korean's packages of concentration camps will be reused and, in some cases, re-factored and re-instantiated.

As a gesture of good will, in the advertising campaign "Get a Pear", PC character will be played by the same actor. Pear character will be replaced with an actress Mr. Kim recently snatched from Bangladesh. Madison Avenue suggested renaming campaign to "Shoot a citrus."

When asked whether they will start shooting first and then turn on gas or visa versa, Pear's rep said that when Google's server farm in Colorado is occupied, they first jam all the desk tops that have Flash installed with subsequent iFooning and iDiapering of hardware. As for the shooting, representative stated that because of logistics, plans are delayed until after the fall, 2010 Paris Fashion week when the best oranges will be revealed. "Although it is not in Mr. Works' character to let catwalk define the strategy, we want to make sure we spent less bullets per orange. Our investors always appreciated frugal tactics," added he.

Experts think that organizing guerilla resistance will be difficult because of Amazon area deforestation.

Strangely enough markets did not react. Maybe because it is Saturday?

This gives me another reason to hate this stupid shetty company even more. Everything is gotta be button down and...O no no don't put the SD or Micro SD card slot, people will then not need shetty ITUNES. Hey Apple if you are so innovative and the cherry bomb then you don't need those commercials where you compare yourself to Windows (Billy gates)....Riii...igh...t. By the way that is another reason I hate this Cracked Assss Apple for being so arrogant whereas Microsoft has never tried to put egg on your face.....Now that is a CLASS ACT...

OOOOO Wait you gotta product out which allows windows to run on your platform........ooo that is brilliant...Ri...gh..t. Remember those two ding dongs from Europe who handed you the code for 7,000 pounds....You are the bomb, why would you wanna run UNHOLY windows XP on your platform? O wait wait don't tell me....Remeber when Mototrola couldn't push the envelope for you anymore ...where did ya go then? INTEL

I hate apple for its arrogance.

Sorry for double posting.

Yeah... It is pretty bad. But not unexpected. I was, actually, surprised when I first read about CS5 iPhone app compiler that Apple allowed that given their militant position.

I read in an article/blog on CNET how an author suggested that Adobe should stop writing creative suit for Apple OS. That could be an interesting move.

In a long run I don't think this war will sustain for long. Money will dictate the outcome. Apple cockiness may lead to what happened to them in 80/ beginning of 90th - just eventual drop in market share.

I don't think Apple is as strong as they perceive/present themselves. Chances are they have already hit the ceiling. Just three little details:

1. They bowed to Intel processor.

2. In my opinion (and I know I am not the only one) iPad is a pretty useless cute piece of hardware, worse than their MacBook Air. I don't see how it will get a fraction close to iPhone success.

3. iPhone share is dropping. I just hope Droid will continue improving. So far, as an owner of Droid phone, I think it has greater potential than iPhone. And, by the way, Apple's lawsuit against Droid's touch screen capabilities did not go anywhere.

In any case this,most probably fueled by personality clashes, browl hurts by brother developers and feels totally unjustified.

And I hope Adobe and other companies (and hopefully European Union) will find resources to join forces to crack this el duce Jobs fascist regime with anti-trust lawsuit. It worked with MS. Why not Apple?

it will be interesting to see what adobe is going to say/do now.