XML: Variable # nodes problem...

I have nodes in my XML file that look like this:
<?xml...
<Listings xmlns...
<Listing>
<name>John Doe</name>
<address format="simple">
<component name="addr1">155 Main Street</component>
<component name="city">New York</component>
<component name="province">NY</component>
<component name="postal_code">99999</component>
</address>
<phone type="main">(555) 555-5555</phone>
<phone type="fax">(444) 444-4444</phone>
</Listing>
</Listings>

The problem is, what if all 4 address lines aren't there, and what if they don't send the Fax or any phone number. With simpler XML elements, I'm able to do stuff like this and it works:

<cfif NOT structKeyExists(mydoc.listings.listing , "name")>
<cfoutput>Record #i#: Name doesn't exist!</cfoutput><br>
<cfset mydoc.listings.listing.name = XmlElemNew(mydoc,"name")>
<cfset mydoc.listings.listing .name.XmlText = "Unknown">
</cfif>

If "name" isn't in the file, it sets it to "Unknown".

But I can't get this code to work for the more complicated structures like address and phone above. If I do something like the following, it says the phone isn't present, even though it is:

<cfif NOT structKeyExists(mydoc.listings.listing,"phone[1]")>
<cfoutput>Record #i#: Phone_main doesn't exist!</cfoutput><br>
<cfset mydoc.listings.listing .phone[1].xxx = XmlElemNew(mydoc,"xxx")>
<cfset mydoc.listings.listing.phone[1].xxx.XmlText = "0">
</cfif>

Basically the problem is, if I don't insert a node, then Coldfusion throws an exception when I try to put it in a query:

<cfset temp = QuerySetCell(storequery, "phone_main",
#mydoc.listings.listing .phone[1].XmlText#, #i#)>

Maybe there's a better work-around for the problem than inserting nodes for missing nodes? I tried using <cfparam> with default values, no luck there. That throws an exception too. Also if I try using XmlSearch and the item is missing, it throws an exception.

Any help with this would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks!

Mike