you tube will not play videos

As of Windows 8, Microsoft embeds Flash Player in IE, and Edge on Windows 10, and all updates are released by Microsoft via Windows Update.  This is why the download page states Flash Player is included in Windows 8.1. 

I can't find it anywhere on my list.. so ...

Are you referring to Control Panel's list of installed programs, or something else?  Since Microsoft embeds Flash Player in IE it is considered a component of IE and it is not listed as a separate item in the list of installed programs.

I do not have flash player, confirmed by adobe

What does this mean?  Where did you get this confirmation?

Launch Windows Explorer and navigate to C:\Windows\System32\Macromed\Flash.  Locate the FlashUtil_ActiveX.exe file and right-click on it.  Select Properties > Details tab.  What is the File version listed?

Normally when a site displays "Sorry you do not have flash player installed" on Windows 8 and above on IE it's because Flash is either disabled, or ActiveX Filtering is enabled.  This is why I posted the link to Flash Player issues on Windows 8 This page also contains a link to Microsoft's Update for the latest Flash Player for IE in case your system didn't have the latest version installed.

Please do the following:

1. Launch IE
2. Click on the Tools menu gear
3. Click on Manage add-ons
4. In the Show field, select All add-ons from the menu:
   
5. Select 'Shockwave Flash Object'
6. Post a screenshot of the Shockwave Flash Object details (see How do I attach a screenshot?)

YouTube has defaulted to HTML5 video for a long time.  I'm surprised it's prompting for Flash Player.  Please provide a direct link to the content prompting for Flash Player, as well as a screenshot (see How do I attach a screenshot?)

Please see Flash Player issues on Windows 8  for assistance.

go here with your problematic browser and see if flash player is working and what version you have, Flash Player Help

if that shows you have flash player,  what browser (name and version) and what flash player version?

[moved from Downloading, Installing, Setting Up to Installing Flash Player]