edit in photoshop will not open in raw

When you send a raw file to Photoshop for editing, it will open silently in Camera raw, where the Lightroom edits are applied, and then open in Photoshop. So this is perfectly normal.

Bear in mind that Camera raw is identical to Lightroom's Develop, so any editing you can do in Camera raw can also be done in Lightroom, so it would be pointless to open the image in Camera raw.

The main reason to send a file to Photoshop is to do edits that are not possible in Lightroom or Camera raw.

This is as designed. Lightroom uses the same routines as Camera Raw for raw development, so when you send a raw file from Lightroom to Photoshop you do not need the Camera Raw dialog, as it would show the exact same settings as Lightroom. That is why this dialog is suppressed when the file is sent from Lightroom.

When transitioning from Lightroom to Photoshop, Camera Raw is simply used as a conversion tool to convert the image from raw to an RGB image that can be used in Photoshop. It is not expected that the image should open in the Camera Raw interface because the tools in Camera Raw are precisely the same tools that are available in Lightroom. If you need Camera Raw after opening the image in Photoshop, there is a filter option to open the Camera Raw filter. Or, if you open the image as a smart object from Lightroom then there is the possibility to actually reopen the file in Camera Raw from the layers panel in Photoshop. But in a "normal" transition from Lightroom to Photoshop you will not see the Camera Raw interface involved at all.