"Why can we no longer have an option tio "allow always" and not deal with this each time we open a website?"
This is a good question and deserves a proper answer. Do you realise that Flash Player is going away, and this affects you? In 14 months it will be gone, and for some people it will be much sooner than that.
Let's ignore the why it's going away question, and look at the other points. The people who are making go away don't want you to have a sudden surprise. This has been planned for years, so the people who use Flash on their web sites STOP DOING THAT and convert to something else. Because if they don't, their stuff will be gone. So, you are an important part of this (we all are). They are making Flash harder and harder to use, quite deliberately, to annoy you and me. In turn we complain to the people with the sites, and hopefully they change before the deadline. So, making it hard to use is quite deliberate, and won't be undone. It will be getting harder and harder in coming months.
If you are using things based on Flash for something important (and care of people with special needs is pretty important, I'd agree) you need to be carefully considering the future, and looking for alternatives, so you can make the transition in good time. Some people will tell you "something will turn up" but they don't have to deal with your consequences if it doesn't.
So, don't look for a fix, look for an alternative, is my advice.