appearI think I might have worded this slightly wrong. 
I just want the TOC to appear like the example I showed. I may have naively thought that you would do this on a reference page.
I'm slightly nervous typing this as people have put a bit of effort in replying to me on the assumption that I knew what I was talking about.
Nah, no call to be nervous! this is a highly civilised forum! which is why I'll stick my neck out with the following explanation …
- the Reference page tells FM what bits of content you want it to pull in.
If you right-click on the ToC entry in the book window, you'll see a comprehensible dialogue that just shows you which styles will be considered for inclusion.
If you open the Reference page for the table of contents itself, you'll see definitions like this, one for each style you've selected:
<$paratext> ................ <$pagenum>
Apart from the mysterious Active ToC, each entry on the Reference page uses its own style; check bottom left
- the Body page for the ToC shows the results, and this is the best place to adjust the styles
I've now checked my early-morning speculations with experiment, and here's a screenshot of the result – not a table in sight!

If you'd like me to send you the sample file off-line, let me know. Hope I haven't now explained more than you needed to know! but if this summary throws up questions about reference page building blocks or the delights of autonumbering, just ask.