I had a dream, Illustrator 2020 won't crash again


A pdf file I'm working is turned into this. And 24.0.1 won't start. Restart, reintall, doesn't work, open it with 20.0.0, it broke 20.0.0 instead.
The same file in my time machine(means when it's was perfectly fine) also looks like this and can't be opened, therefore it's not the file becomes problematic but Illustrator is broken.
I have lost huge amount of progress, and I'm moderately furious.
Anybody know how to resolve the issue or atleast save the file so I can pack my bag and switch to affinity? Or I should just shoot myself in the head?