Illustrator Update - freezes, loss of all quick commands, no selection, no de-selections

Updated Illustrator to 2022 this morning and Adobe has effectively killed my workflow altogether. I can't save anything, it seems like quick commands like space bar for the hand tool have disappeared, and even simple things like select and deselect have become frozen or unresponsive. Basically I can't use Illustrator. It's just unresponsive. Thanks you guys! Beautiful work. This is really worth $60 a month to have you destroy your customers ability to use your product for their livelihood with each update. 

I just cannot stress enough how disappointing each update from Adobe is. I swear, if Adobe had a competitor that had a better pricepoint I'd be gone in a heartbeat. I've been using your products for 15 years and once a year you just completely f**k my workflow. FIX IT NOW so we can all get back to work. PLEASE.

And before you ask "whats the specific issue? you're just complaining", I know. That's because I am so completely fed up I can't even focus. It's hard to be professional right now bc I'm a losing money bc I can't use the tools I pay for to do my job.

Here's what I want you do, just go open the updated Illustrator on a brand new mac and try to use it. Ok, see what's happening? Fix that. It's bullsh*t.