Where have the align options gone?

Align to selection is the default alignment behavior. If you marquee select multiple objects at once all of those selected objects will move to a new "averaged" position. IMHO, I don't think that's a very useful default behavior, but that's what it is. In the image you posted the "Align To" options are align to artboard, align to selection and align to key object.

I am almost always aligning one or more objects to a certain "key" object I want locked in place. Most other vector graphics applications will lock in place either the first or last object shift+clicked into a selection. Illustrator is different. You can marquee select or shift+click objects one by one into a selection, but while all the objects are selected you have to click the intended key object once more to lock it in place for others to align to it. It takes some effort to get used to that behavior. My bigger complaint is I can't seem to come up with an effective custom "recipe" of keyboard shortcuts for alignment and distribution functions. Everything I've tried has created conflicts within Illustrator or in some cases conflicts with other applications, such as NVidia's graphics board applications.