I have been trying to unlock "generative fill" for a month now. IT DOES NOT WORK FOR ME.

Re. "I get angry emails that I NEED TO USE THIS TOOL RIGHT NOW, or else."

From a boss?  Inform them it's illegal for commercial purposes at this time.

@Khannea 

First: click "Check for Updates" in the Beta apps section of the Creative Cloud desktop app to check if there's a new Photoshop (beta) app build available and update to build m.2196 or later.

https://helpx.adobe.com/photoshop/using/generative-fill.html

Contact Adobe Customer Care by Chat or by Twitter: Try the link to auto-open the Chat:
https://helpx.adobe.com/contact.html?rghtup=autoOpen  
Type "agent"

If your browser blocks the Chat window, try the troubleshooting tips here:
https://community.adobe.com/t5/creative-cloud-services/how-to-contact-adobe-support/td-p/11875703  

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I've moved your post to Photoshop Beta. Generative Fill is only available in Beta.

Jane

I can't find a spot to specify DOB in Behance either, but luckily I didn't have to.

I would try and find a spot in your Adobe profile instead, but it may already have it.

To those that always tell to go to Behance, please show a screenshot for DOB field.

If you have it, it's probably obvious, but some may just not have it for some reason.