colour not matching photoshop to Lightroom

montor calibrated with preferences calibration

Is this something you do in the Mac OS? The proper way to calibrate is by using a hardware calibrator.

only way to correct is to go to ACR in the develop module and change setting

What setting are you referring to? Do you mean that you edit the image in Lightroom to make it display the same as in Photoshop? ACR is a plugin for Photoshop, but is an integral part of Lightroom.

And are you using Edit in Photoshop from Lightroom, or do you start out editing in Photoshop, and then import to Lightroom?

Please post a screenshot of the entire Photoshop window with the image open, and the status bar set to display Document profile.

Also post a screenshot of the same image in Lightroom, with the History panel visible and expanded on the left, and the Histogram and Basic panel visible and expanded on the right.

To insert screenshots, use the Insert photos button in the toolbar.