Don't let the door hit you on the way out.

This is funny to me. 
Me: "Sorry Adobe. You are invaluable at work, but I don't use my home account enough to warant a subscription. I met Painter2020 and we're doing well."
Adobe "Pfff. Painter? Are you sure? If you leave, I'll hit you. I'll hit you good, I told you I would."
Me: *Sigh* "Yup, that's part of the problem, but do your worst. I'm leaving."

Adobe: "Please stay! Look, I can change! I'll give you free stuff for a month or two."

Me: "It doesn't change the fact that I don't love you anymore. I'm sorry. I'm going. And if you care, you'll let me go."
Adobe: "Please! Don't go! Don't make me hurt you!"
Me: "I'm not making you do anything. Goodbye."
Adobe: **Grabs me and punches me in the bank**
Me: **wipes blood off lip- cold stare** "Good bye forever."

I'm out!