Being a medical support person

I'm glad to read the surgery went well. 
Sending my best wishes to both of you!

The 'water mainfold' instructions said to use circulating ice water for 2-3 days to reduce swelling... so it is now out and in storage (comes with a one gallon container for water & ice and a small pump)

With the manifold removed she is to use her walker for exercise (still straight leg with brace)

We have a central 'core' in our house so you can walk a complete circle around the core... she made one lap through the rooms and had to go back to bed to rest... leg is tired but no 'major' pain from her lap around the house

Friday after Tuesday surgery and she is still wearing a 'locked' leg brace so she doesn't bend her knee but she is doing much better... using her walker to get out of bed, and even sat on a chair in the living room for about 20 minutes to watch TV, then back to bed because sitting was not very comfortable

She starts Physical Therapy May 10 which I am sure is not going to be pleasant

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@John T Smith wrote:

I am also in pain... the mental kind... because I can't FIX her (surgery this coming Tuesday) and when she is upset about what is happening I just have to let her yell at me because she is frustrated

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Is today the "Tuesday" of the surgery? Let us know how it goes John, and I wish her well.

I have been in both roles — as a caretaker and as a patient. Neither is easy.

No, you can't "fix" her, and she will be in even more pain in the first few days after surgery. All you can do is be there for her. But it's also extremely important that you take care of yourself or you won't be a good caretaker for her. It might mean taking a walk every day or venting with friends, but another option is to find a support group for caretakers so you can talk to others who are going through the same thing at the same time. If you can't find one, you might look for a couple of sessions with a trained counselor. It might only take one or two times and can probably be done online.

Wishing you the best,

Jane

I hope all goes as well as it can for your wife and you.

When she does have the surgery, make sure that she follows the recommendations of the physical therapist - not more than she is told to do and not less.  Communication is important, too, so that the therapist knows the pain level when therapy is administered.  I've had both my hips replaced and credit my physical therapist with my full recovery.

Also remind her that although it is difficult to be in pain, each day that passes will bring her closer to recovery. Patience is key, both on her part and yours.

Right now she is alternating stressing about the surgery, which she knows she must have to put the two pieces together, and hoping that the recovery time after the surgery will be 'short' rather than as long as some reports

We don't know, yet, what will be involved by she has been told that physical therapy will be required to 'slowly' work on being able to bend her knee and put full weight on her leg

Very sorry to here you both going through this. Hopefully the surgery will go well, and she will recover quickly, and your house6can return to peace. 

Sending good vibes for a good recovery!