Hi Mary,
I can relate totally. My "coping method" (I wouldn't call it a solution) was to name files so that sorting the folder either by name or by type would group all related content alphabetically.
I did this by making the noun my major organizing principle, and using it as the first portion of the file name. (This, by the way, I learned from a professional organizer, not a content management or dita specialist). I add on the action or characteristic I'm describing, so I get "noun-verb.xml," "noun-adjective.xml," or "noun-verb-adjective."
I chose this because I'm writing for company in which verb usage varies widely. They'll say they're "printing," "generating," "issuing," "producing" or even "doing a run of," but the noun they use--"cheques"--is always the same.
This method only becomes unwieldy if I have to add a verb and an adjective _and_ if content about the qualified noun does not really belong with content about the unqualified noun. For instance, in my situation, it doesn't really make sense to group content about "deceased clients" with content about "new clients." I'm not at that point yet, but when I'm ready to separate the living from the dead I will have to decide whether to create a pseudo-compound noun for the dead ("deceased-client"), or to refer to them simply as "deceased."
Karen