color managment for spot color

This question really spans AI/PS/ID, but i'll start with this forum and see where we go.

I'm trying to figure out the best way to implement color management across AI/PS/ID/Acrobat for a spot color imprinting workflow. We imprint separated flat colors (no gradients or halftones) onto products, either screen printed (film to screen) or pad printed (film to plates). We work with vector logos in AI and convert & separate them into 4 or less PMS colors to output film. So there are no halftones or screen angles or even a RIP to mess with or calibrate, just straight separated ink through mesh or onto a plate.

My dilemma starts with our proofing process. We copy/paste the vector logo from AI into a PSD, positioning the logo onto a photo of our product, and then insert that PSD onto an ID proof template. We export a PDF from ID as a proof for our customers to view/approve —and for our production team to use for rough placement/color. There have been many cases where our customers or production team notice that the colors shown on the CMYK PDF proof turn out much different than the PMS ink imprinted product. Most of our customers view the PDF onscreen and our production views a desktop printout from the PDF. While I understand that we will never be exact due to the nature of different monitors/desktop printers/color spaces/etc, i'm hoping that we can at least get our proof colors closer to the final imprinted product and/or PMS swatch book.

I've done a lot of research on color management and most of what i've found involves converting spot to CMYK (etc) for traditional paper-printing, hardly anything for a spot color only workflow. Without getting too complicated, how could we approach color management between AI/PS/ID so we know that at least the proof we output is as accurate as it can be to the final imprint? Which color space(s) and pre-existing profile(s) would work best across the 3 softwares in a purely PMS workflow? Thanks in advance for any input on this.