Brushes for stamp, burn tool etc

I'll just start by telling you I've learned photoshop by fumbling through it, don't know the correct jargon for all the tools and therefore find updates and changes to how it functions incredibly frustrating.

So in the past year (?) or so, it seems I can no longer select (for example) the clone stamp tool, then any brush I like and it will use that as the basis for the action. It seems there are only a few brushes that are preset to accept that use??? And I can sort of add some brushes to have that use, but not all? I find that when I try to "add tool" and select a brush that I like for a particular operation (let's say burn for this example but could be clone stamp etc), it defaults to some other action (like blur, or paintbrush etc) and won't let me save it. No shortage of cursing over here. I have tried to read the tutorials and it is mind numbing. I can't tell if it's giving me the correct instructions because I can barely understand them and I am a reasonably literate person. Is anyone else experiencing this? And what is the solution? Is there a solution?