How do I set up photoshop to work with a touch screen?

You implied, but ok, whatever. Don't use it then, it is not a reason enough to stop the improvement for so many other people. Also you're ignoring the existence of fine tip capacitive styluses. Many computer OEMs are still hesitant about including pen support, sometimes touch screen is the best you can get for the money. And please don't say anything about the precision or lack of pressure sensitivity, we know, but it's not like you get that on a touch pad or mouse. So unless PS wanna be some exclusive club for elites, touch should be supported.

This is exactly the point.  Instead of demeaning it by calling it "finger painting", try to understand the use case.  Many times retouching in Photoshop is using the various tools (clont, magic, etc) or doing masks.  Much more intuitive to use the touch screen with either a finger or stylus than the God-awful touchpad or stick that most Windows machines have. 

We realize you'll never get the precision or pressure sensitivity of the Wacom devices but that's fine for the nature of the work - it's not needed there anyway.

But since the touch supports the click event when you press on the screen, functionally it's the same as the mouse and it's crazy that Adobe won't add this support, especially given that there are very few digitizer PC's out there but many, many touchscreen models to choose from.  I know this because I've been searching for a 2 in 1 and the models are: Surface, Surface Book, HP Spectre 15t, some Dell model, and a few ThinkPads.  The Surface and HP are last year's CPU's and the Thinkpads are nice but light on specs.

Adobe already does this sort of interface in the Lightroom App so it's not like there is no precedence for them to add this functionality.  Stubbornness, yes, but since we're paying monthly for this stuff, they should be adding features we want and judging by the comments here and across the web, this is a common request!