Creative Jokes Thread

People's Champ ,
Apr 01, 2016 Apr 01, 2016

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Every industry spawns some "in jokes" and ours is no exception.  I'll start with some video editing jokes since I do a lot of that:

Q:  How many editors does it take to change a light bulb?

A:  Change?   I'm not changing a thing!

Never trust an editor with a sun tan.

Anybody tempted by the dark side, remember AVID spelled backwards is DIVA

Q:  Why did the film editor decide not to make the change the non linear video editing?

A:  He thought it wasn't a reel job.

So, does anybody have any more?   They don't have to be video related...any "Creative" in jokes are welcome!

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LEGEND ,
Apr 02, 2016 Apr 02, 2016

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‌Q: What did the photographer give his girlfriend?

A: 1/320 @ f2.8

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Guide ,
Apr 04, 2016 Apr 04, 2016

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Not quite jokes in the traditional sense, but;

If you ever hear a programmer refer to someone as 'NSI', it means No Software Installed.

And one for anyone who has to solve computer Problems; PEBCAK:

Problem Exists Between Chair And Keyboard

--OB

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Adobe Community Professional ,
Apr 11, 2016 Apr 11, 2016

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OldBob1957 wrote:

And one for anyone who has to solve computer Problems; PEBCAK:

Problem Exists Between Chair And Keyboard

--OB

When someone complained something was not working and it turns out they didn't follow directions, it was politely referred to as "Pilot Error".

Gene

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LEGEND ,
Apr 19, 2016 Apr 19, 2016

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I changed my password to "incorrect" so whenever I forget it the computer will say, "Your password is incorrect"

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Community Beginner ,
May 02, 2016 May 02, 2016

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.. smart work

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Guide ,
May 02, 2016 May 02, 2016

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That's like the guy whose password was always "Required". Because whenever he signed up at any new website, it always told him; "Password Required."

And yet another from the world of Information Technology;

You know you're an IT professional when; you hear the phrase "Users are losers." and it never occurs to you that they are talking about drugs.

--OB

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Adobe Community Professional ,
May 02, 2016 May 02, 2016

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Call Center jokes: Even more call centre jokes

(Some of these look like they are from the 1980s.)

Tech Support: “I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop.”
Customer “Ok.”
Tech Support: “Did you get a pop-up menu?”
Customer: “No.”
Tech Support: “Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?”
Customer “No.”
Tech Support:: “Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this
point?”
Customer: “Sure, you told me to write ‘click’ and I wrote ‘click’.”
=====
Customer: “I received the software update you sent, but I am still getting
the same error message.”
Tech Support:: “Did you install the update?”
Customer: “No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to get it to work?”
=====(related (keywords: jokes)

Customer:: “I’m having trouble installing Microsoft Word.”
Tech Support:: “Tell me what you’ve done.”
Customer: “I typed ‘A:SETUP’.”
Tech Support:: “Ma’am, remove the disk and tell me what it says.”
Customer:: “It says ‘[PC manufacturer] Restore and Recovery disk’.”
Tech Support:: “Insert the MS Word setup disk.”
Customer:: “What?”
Tech Support: “Did you buy MS word?”
Customer: “No…”
=====
Customer:: “Do I need a computer to use your software?”
Tech Support:: ?!%#$
=====
Tech Support:: “Ok, in the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you see
the ‘OK’ button displayed?”
Customer: “Wow. How can you see my screen from there?”
=====
Tech Support:: “What type of computer do you have?”
Customer:: “A white one.”
=====
Tech Support:: “Type ‘A:’ at the prompt.”
Customer:: “How do you spell that?”
=====
Tech Support: “What’s on your screen right now?”
Customer: “A stuffed animal that my boyfriend got me at the grocery store.”
=====
Tech Support:: “What operating system are you running?”
Customer: “Pentium.”
=====
Customer: “My computer’s telling me I performed an illegal abortion.”
=====
Customer: “I have Microsoft Exploder.”
=====
Customer: “How do I print my voicemail?”
=====
Customer: “You’ve got to fix my computer. I urgently need to print document,
but the computer won’t boot properly.”
Tech Support: “What does it say?”
Customer: “Something about an error and non-system disk.”
Tech Support: “Look at your machine. Is there a floppy inside?”
Customer: “No, but there’s a sticker saying there’s an Intel inside.”
======
Tech Support: “Just call us back if there’s a problem. We’re open 24 hours.”
Customer: “Is that Eastern time?”
=====
Tech Support:: “What does the screen say now?”
Customer: “It says, ‘Hit ENTER when ready’.”
Tech Support:: “Well?”
Customer: “How do I know when it’s ready?”

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Adobe Community Professional ,
May 10, 2016 May 10, 2016

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Explaining social media in 1962:

explaining social media in 1962.jpg

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Guide ,
May 11, 2016 May 11, 2016

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On the other hand...

B4_Social.jpg

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Adobe Community Professional ,
May 11, 2016 May 11, 2016

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Q: How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?

A: None. It's a hardware problem.

An SEO couple had twins. For the first time ever they were happy with duplicate content.

Q: Why was the JavaScript developer sad?

A: Because he didn't Node how to Express himself.

Q: Why did the developer go broke?

A: Because he used up all his cache

Q: Why did the Facebook user add body { padding-top: 1000px; } to his profile page?

A: He wanted to keep a low profile.

========================

Costello: Hey, Abbott!

Abbot: Yes, Lou?

Costello: I just got my first computer.

Abbot: O.K. Lou. What do want to know?

Costello: I am having no problem turning it on, but I heard that you should be very careful how you turn it off.

Abbot: That's true.

Costello: So, here I am working on my new computer and I want to turn it off. What do I do?

Abbot: Well, first you press the Start button, and then...

Costello: No, I told you, I want to turn it off.

Abbot: I know, you press the Start button-

Costello: Wait a second. I want to turn it off. Off. I know how to start it. So tell me what to do.

Abbot: I did.

Costello: When?

Abbot: When I told you to press the Start button.

Costello: Why should I press the Start button?

Abbot: To shut off the computer.

Costello: I press Start to stop.

Abbot: Well Start doesn't actually stop the computer.

Costello: I knew it! So what do I press.

Abbot: Start

Costello: Start what?

Abbot: Start button.

Costello: Start button to do what?

Abbot: Shut down.

Costello: You don't have to get rude!

Abbot: No, no, no! That's not what I meant.

Costello: Then say what you mean.

Abbot: To shut down the computer, press-

Costello: Don't say, "Start!"

Abbot: Then what do you want me to say?

Costello: Look, if I want to turn off the computer, I am willing to press the Stop button, the End button and Cease and Desist button, but no one in their right mind presses the Start to Stop.

Abbot: But that's what you do.

Costello: And you probably Go at Stop signs, and Stop at green lights.

Abbot: Don't be ridiculous.

Costello: I am being ridiculous? Well. I think it's about time we started this conversation.

Abbot: What are you talking about?

Costello: I am starting this conversation right now. Good-bye.

Nancy O'Shea, Adobe Product User & Community Professional
Alt-Web Design & Publishing ~ Web : Print : Graphics : Media

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Adobe Community Professional ,
May 14, 2016 May 14, 2016

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Yes, this has to be said these days:

in case of fire.png

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Adobe Community Professional ,
May 22, 2016 May 22, 2016

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how_long_have_i_been_ugly__by_onyxcarmine-d9w2a3k.png

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Adobe Community Professional ,
May 26, 2016 May 26, 2016

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The best joke I know:

"We'll fix it in post."

You may not think it's funny, but every time I hear someone say it to me, I start laughing...

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Adobe Community Professional ,
Jun 03, 2016 Jun 03, 2016

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True story:

I was on the phone to my health insurance provider (in the USA). Long story short, I am in a long wait queue on hold, listening to their telephone MUZAK.

What's playing?  I kid you not.  I can't make this stuff up.  "Suicide is Painless"

Suicide is Painless (M.A.S.H Theme) - YouTube

REALLY Nice music guys!

Nancy O.

Nancy O'Shea, Adobe Product User & Community Professional
Alt-Web Design & Publishing ~ Web : Print : Graphics : Media

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Adobe Community Professional ,
Jun 03, 2016 Jun 03, 2016

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Another true store from the EARLY days of the original IBM PC that had 2 floppy drives... one for the program disc, the other drive for data

An employee where I worked asked for my help to find his "lost" disc, which he swore was eaten by one of the drives (I was what passed for a computer technician there, because I had an Apple II at home so was supposed to know "everything" about small computers)

After looking very closely, I had to open the computer case and remove the bottom floppy drive... when the computer was assembled the upper and lower drives were just far enough apart that there was a narrow opening between the two drives

Just enough of an opening for him to slide the floppy disk into the gap between the drives, instead of into the actual disc opening

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Community Beginner ,
Oct 10, 2018 Oct 10, 2018

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Hahaha   Nancy, that's hilarious.

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Adobe Community Professional ,
Oct 10, 2018 Oct 10, 2018

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True story in class, maybe 15 years ago:

Me: “Press Command plus zero”

Student: “Which zero—the letter or the number?”

Me: “     ”

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Guide ,
Oct 10, 2018 Oct 10, 2018

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movie crew jokes:

CRAFT SERVICE / CATERING

Why did the chicken cross the road

A: company move

What came first - the chicken or the egg ?

A: depends on your call time

MISC

how many teamsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb ?

A: TEN ! YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT ?? !!

how many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb ?

A: Does it have to be a light bulb ?

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Adobe Community Professional ,
Oct 10, 2018 Oct 10, 2018

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LATEST

I was showing the depth of control one has in After Effects to a group of delegates, when they broke out into fits of laughter.

They had discovered Butt Cap.

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New Here ,
Aug 02, 2018 Aug 02, 2018

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Hi

I will tell you one joke, that is the customer service in India for Adobe. You can get a different answer for the same problem, in the same conversation 5 different ways. Now, they offer 3 month free software in the place of 150-170 us dollars. They also refuse to give me the us contact information

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