Dreaded white screen of death in Creative Cloud Desktop App

So... this is all over the internet but no solutions have worked for me.  Creative Cloud Desktop App only displays a blank, white screen - and when you mouse over it, you can see that the pointer is furiously refreshing.  Please.  I desperately need help with this.

1. Uninstall everything - reinstall everything: no change
2. Sign out all sessions: no change
3. Erase all Adobe credentials in the certmgr and Credential Manager (a million of them): no change
4. Checked for special characters in my user profile: no change
5. Reset IE Settings: no change
6. Uninstalled IE and MS Edge: no change
7. Dropped Firewall completely: no change
8. Repair Creative Cloud:  no change
9. Uninstall and reinstall Creative Cloud: no change
10. Copied and Deleted the \AppData\Local\Adobe\OOBE folder: no change
11. Deleted the new OPM.db: no change
12. Downloaded and ran Creative Cloud desktop app uninstaller: no change
13. Ran Adobe Creative Cloud Cleaner Tool: no change

Does anyone have any idea?  Please help.