how do I set my settings

In reply to the second part of your question

"Also does anyone know how to make the letters I can't seem to change that on the type characters all it wants to do is stay regular . . ."

Most fonts have different typestyles which can be selected from the control panel  or

from the Type Menu

Character Panel. These show you the options you have for different styles of the same font. However some fonts don't have the same options and may only one style, such as Madre Script which only have italic as a style option.

If you choose 'Essentials' as a workspace and then select 'Reset Essentials' from the drop down menu, the layers and tools as well as other panels will appear. Each time you launch InDesign, Essentials will be the workspace you will be working in.

If you need to add other panels to your workspace, you can then create a new Workspace and name it as you wish.

It will appear int he top right of your screen

And you will also have an option to Reset shirazs78655371 anytime or if you wish to add more panels and update your workspace just click New Workspace and select shirazs78955371 from the drop down menu and replace it with the updated version.

For your first question.. use workspace

You could make up an InDesign document as you like, adding layers, adding paragraph styles, character styles, object styles.

Save that as a template document or rename an already set up InDesign document from *.indd to *indt.

Now you can work on with the *.indt file.

When opened it will open as "Unnamed-n" document. Where "n" stands for a number.

I would never change the "[Basic Paragraph]" style. Not when no document is open, not when a document is open.
I would always create new styles. And would not base them on the "[Basic Paragraph]" but always on the "[No Paragraph Style]".

Why? Sometime in the future you have to work with client files that do not confirm with your new, personal standard.
You will get into trouble if you copy/paste things between your own documents and the client's one. And vice versa.

Regards,
Uwe

Do changes in your settings without opened any indd, than close InDesign and open.

For redefine paragraph style by default you need to redefine your "basic paragraph"