hypnate icon

I'm assuming that you mean "hyphenate". That option is only available on the Control Panel when the Paragraph icon (see highlighted below) has been clicked on and paragraph attributes becomes the active mode. See screen shot:

If you have done this and the hyphenate icon is still not there (it is not a customizable option for the Control Panel—it should be there) then you can try deleting your InDesign Cache files—which is not the same as deleting preferences. Deleting caches can restore problems within panels.

To delete caches:

For Macintosh Users: The User Library folder in which InDesign’s cache files are stored is hidden by default on most Macintoshes. To access it make sure that InDesign is closed and click on the desktop to launch a Finder Window (Command-N).With this window in column view follow the path User>Home folder (it’s the folder with an icon that looks like a house—it may have the user’s name rather than “Home”) and click on the Home folder. With the Option Key pressed choose Library from the Finder Go Menu. “Library” will now appear within the Home folder. Within the Library folder find the “Caches” folder. Within the Caches folder find and delete the entire folder “Adobe InDesign”. I find that deleting the InDesign cache folder completely leads to a lasting change. 

For Windows Users: On Windows 7 and above the caches files are hidden. To find them go to the Control Panel and open Folder Options and then click the View tab. Then select “Show hidden files and folders” or “Show hidden files, folders or drive options” in Advanced Settings. Then delete (or rename) the folder at the end of this path: C:\Users\[User Name]\AppData\Local\Adobe\InDesign\Version [#]\<Language>\Cache.