please send me to your best and most recent info on using the gradient tools in ID. It all seems rather cumbersome and not successful. I just need to make a gradient fill from a swatch to transparency. Where would that be?

Sounds like your UI is acting up 
Try resetting your preferences. 

Gradient feather is what you’re looking for as per ​@Dave Creamer of IDEAS 

You can either use the tool in the tool panel, or use the Effects panel and go to the Fill settings and set the Feather Gradient. 

Other things you can try is the Directional feather, slightly different settings. 

You can also add more than one effect, you can do an Object Setting and then also a Fill setting to combine different effects or enhance them. 

 

Unlike Illustrator, InDesign color gradients do not have transparency as an option. For that, you need to use the Gradient Feather effect. If you gradient is the same color, but just fades to transparency, you don’t need a color gradient, just a solid swatch. The effect will do what you want. 

I suggest always using swatches. You can alt/opt-click on the swatch after selecting a color gradient color stop.