Select pages for export

You could use separate layers for the various versions, use copy/paste as a link (content collector tool) to copy the common content from the base layer into the other layers, so changes to the common base layer will be updated to the other layers when changes are made. Page numbers would need to be added manually for the various versions (layers). Or, add page numbers as footers in Acrobat, to the individual pdf versions. Export the needed page and layer combinations for each version.

Export to... what? PDF?

InDesign has a new feature for hiding select spreads, but it's not well developed (yet) and does not (for example) update page numbering.

The only approach I'd use for what you describe is conditional text, and to work, that would need a highly liquid layout so that visible material would flow into a continuous sequence when other material was hidden. That means one and only one Parent page layout, for example, and all images, tables and text boxes carefully linked to the preceding text (much as must be done for EPUB export).

If all the material will fit into individual chapter files, you could use a Book to select the desired components, update them all for consistent page numbering and a focused TOC, and export that. Need a different configuration? Use (and update) another Book.

Not many other ways to pick and choose material and have a consistent result emerge.