RH2019: Chapter numbering, section references, and chapter name in header for PDF output

RH14.0.9

I'm trying to create a pdf output that looks something like this:

I'm running into the following problems:

• Chapter and section numbering in the body:
  I cannot get chapter numbering at all. I've tried a before: counter for <h1> in the pdf CSS but then all chapters are numbered '1' (one). I haven't even tried section numbering yet until that is resolved.
• Applying an automatic <h1>, <h2>, <h3> etc. depending on the place in the TOC:
  All my topics (also the subsections have their own separate topics) start with <h1>. The generated TOC shows the correct indentation but the topics themselves stay at <h1> for each heading. I would have hoped this was generated automatically, but currently I fear my only option is to use one topic for every complete chapter, and apply the H1, H2 myself. Is that correct, or is there another way? 
• If the chapter and section numbering can be resolved, would it be possibe to refer to them with a dynamically generated section number (see 12.3) in the body, or otherwise with a dynamically generated page number (see p. xx)?
• Chapter name reference in the header: I have found a post for RH2015 that talks about a <<PD>> something which I suspect is a field. However, I cannot find anything about chapter names in the field dialog, just project-wide fields such as the project name, or otherwise the file title, but in that case using a separate TOC with numbered headings (as Peter suggests) wouldn't work (I think?); I would need to add the numbers to the file title which will probably make it show up in other places as well (would it?).

I could generate to Word to solve many of these problems, but then the numbered section references (see 12.3) would still need to be added manually afterwards, I think? Which is just not an option.

Any post scripting that could solve this, or any other solutions (or pointers to them) very much appreciated.