Asset Conflicts and Running Out of Memory

I'm editing a feature film.  My assitant editor and I are working from a team project.  I'm not having issues of 'conflicts' when I try to update/publish the project.  The conflicts are refering to actual footage in the project - and lots of the footage.  When I try to 'resolve conflicts', Premiere runs the memory usage up to like 200gb until my computer makes me force quit because it's out of memory. 

But, my assistant editior is having no issues at all.  She is running 24.0 and I was on 24.4.1, so I rolled back to 24.0 but I'm still having the same issue.  She is working from an exact copy of the media I'm working from, so I'm not sure why it's having conflicts with the footage.  It's mostly red footage, with some alexa footage, a few canon .crm files, and a handful of DJI Drone Apple ProRes files - so there shouldn't be any Variable Frame Rate stuff in the project.

I've tried clearing media cache, resetting preferences, rolling back to earlier version of premiere... 

Any help would be very much appreciated as I have deadlines fast approaching and can't access the project enough to actually do any work.

My computer specs:

Mac Studio M2 Ultra

192 GB Memory

Ventura 13.4