So as if this decade-long issue with constantly being required to sign back in wasn't already irritating, now I can't even sign in. Every time I attempt to do so I'm delivered this wonderful response:
We can’t verify your subscription status.
So Adobe is now essentially handicapping my business. Bravo, Adobe. You've done it again! And yes, my subscription is very much active, and yes, my internet connection is just fine (major plot twist: I'm using it to post this!)
p.s. if you're contacted by anyone (via email or private message), it's much more likely to be a scammer than an adobe representative. ie, double check for an employee badge if contacted in the forums and look for an adobe.com domain in the email address if you click reply to an email. then check again and be very suspicious. any other method of contacting (or offering to contact you) is almost certainly a scam, https://community.adobe.com/t5/using-the-community-discussions/staying-safe-in-the-adobe-support-com...