Ah, the delightful aftermath of using Adobe <insert product here, in my case Indesign> – you close the program, thinking your computer is free at last, only to find it wheezing and gasping for air like a marathon runner after a sprint. But fear not, for it's not a virus causing this chaos; it's just Adobe's charming background processes, working tirelessly to ensure your computer's demise.
Picture this: you're happily immersed in your favorite game, when suddenly your computer starts stuttering and lagging like a tired old mule. Naturally, you're about to unleash your fury on Reddit or some game forum, but then you have a stroke of genius and check the Task Manager.
Behold! There they are, Adobe's army of background processes, still frolicking merrily after you've closed InDesign. Thirty-plus of them, like a horde of hungry zombies, feasting on your computer's innards without a care in the world.
- And god knows what else... (yes I see you shady brackground processes using my Network incoming and outgoing traffic).
Yes, Adobe's background processes are the gift that keeps on giving – giving you headaches, frustration, and a burning desire to switch to a less resource-hungry software alternative. But hey, who needs a smoothly running computer when you can have the joy of funding Adobe's Investors their next yacht purchase.
If you're like me, and want to get what you buy, without hidden conditions and shady extras I give you the PURGEADOBE Script:
1. Open a text document.
2. Copy paste (plus add any other other processes you want to kill):
echo off (link removed)
echo Closing Adobe background processes...
taskkill /f /im "Adobe CEF Helper.exe" >nul 2>&1
taskkill /f /im "Adobe Desktop Service.exe" >nul 2>&1
taskkill /f /im "AdobeIPCBroker.exe" >nul 2>&1
taskkill /f /im "CCLibrary.exe" >nul 2>&1
taskkill /f /im "CCXProcess.exe" >nul 2>&1
taskkill /f /im "CEPHtmlEngine.exe" >nul 2>&1
taskkill /f /im "CoreSync.exe" >nul 2>&1
taskkill /f /im "Creative Cloud.exe" >nul 2>&1
taskkill /f /im "Creative Cloud Helper.exe" >nul 2>&1
taskkill /f /im "acrotray.exe" >nul 2>&1
echo Adobe background processes closed.
3. Go to File > Save as > (give it a feel-good-name related to death and make sure you add .bat to it) > Save it on Desktop (ex: PurgeAdobe.bat)
Now every time you close your Adobe Application, run this Script to kill every process that otherwise you would have to kill manually, one by one. MAKE SURE TO SAVE YOUR WORK.
May the force be with you.
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