Dialog boxes in indesign sometimes open but won't be high level or something

OK so I don't know the language I want, but it is hard to get stuff done when this happens. I open up a dialog widow like Document Setup but it comes up in the not currently active colors and goes donk when I try to click and change anything.  Sort of like when you go to copy a file set and then you get the second dialog that comes up saying do you want to replace, and can't click the first one until the second is addressed.... except there isn't any secondary pop up it just won't be active important whatever it's called.  I am not getting any search hits I presume because I can't remember the terminology for what is going on.