Why can't my computer just talk to me!

If computers could talk the only thing they would want to talk about is numbers. Have you ever seen how computers think? It's really annoying, and they're total nerds. What kind of dork insists so irrationally that you translate everything from binary to normal talk just to speak with them? Not to mention the fact you have to translate it back just to get a word in edgewise.

Frankly I'm glad computers can't talk. If computers could talk then what's next? The mice? That's actual mice by the way, not lame computer mice which, by the way, cannot even complete a maze. Disgraceful.

                                                                                                                                                                                       - Ricky Thomas

"Computer... Computer... Hello Computer... Keyboard, how quaint."

https://forums.adobe.com/people/Cactus+Cowboy  wrote I hug it before I go to bed

they have a doll for that now

I expect it can.  I remember being impressed with my brothers Google Pixel phone that he constantly spoke to and got spoken answers.  Then I discovered that any old smart phone can do that.  In fact my old iPhone 5S does an amazing job of recognizing my vaguely east London accent getting my spoken questions word perfect almost every time.

It seems likely that computers can do the same thing via webcams etc.  I don't have a microphone icon on Google, but that is probably because the webcam is not connected.  If you do have a mic and see its icon on a Google search page, then try clicking and talking to it.

Just checked Chrome, which does have the mic icon

https://forums.adobe.com/people/Cactus+Cowboy  wrote Read this, read that, text here, text there, text everywhere! Why can't my computer just talk to me? I tickle it's keys, I dust it off, I hug it before I go to bed, I replace it's innards when it's not feeling well, the least it could do is TALK TO ME!

CC, I'll need a degree in psychiatry, an office with a couch, a few notebooks, and $150 an hour before I say anything.

Gene

Here you go Free Text to Speech Online with Natural Voices

Disclaimer... found via Google, so NO personal experience