Ha. Here you are!
Your final image is what is was referring to by "And Leo has an excellent example of the perils of the Pages panel in his second screen shot—the page numbers 4–5 are selected but the page icons on some other spread are selected. They need to all be blue." I call that view "Never Never Land"—not sure what Mike calls it—but it's a place you don't ever want to be. It happens when you single click and don't double click when navigating with the Pages panel.
As for training classes, how effective they are depends on the instructor. A lot of people teach InDesign, but don't know it well. In my opinion, they need to know InDesign, they need to use it for layout outside of class, they need to be effective communicators and in your specific case, they need to understand long document layout, which is very different from designing brochures and flyers, etc. You would likely benefit from a custom class tailored to your specific needs, rather than most of the public classes out there.
Or maybe this course would be both beneficial and cost-effective: https://www.linkedin.com/learning/indesign-creating-long-documents-13887227/creating-indesign-book-files though you might want to skim David Blatner's Essentials Training first. Mastering the interface is surprisingly important, as you are learning.
~Barb
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